Bil’s Store

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KingBookCoverThumbThe King of Little Things


Only the King of Little Things stands between King Normous and his goal of conquering the world. But little things can make a big difference! A beautifully illustrated children’s book with a lesson for readers of all ages.


cover-adverse-conditionsAdverse Conditions


1. Adverse Conditions (Plane Tire)
2. Hell’s Congress
3. Worst Christmas Ever
4. Washing Machine Rodeo


Wally! Come Down Right Now!


1. Firebike
2. Wally! Come Down Right Now!
3. Arlo Balow
4. Arlo Barlow Radio Mix



A Not So Silent Night


The Uncalled For Trio has toured together for 5 years, the last three being special holiday tours. Performing to sell out crowds around the country, the trio has finally recorded a holiday album. This live recording is full of holiday mishaps, turkey disasters and musical interludes.

Approx Run Time: 79 minutes

1. Introduction
2. The Great Cookie Cook Off (Kim Weitkamp)
3. A Glass Christmas (Andy Offutt Irwin)
4. In the Bleak Midwinter (Kim and Andy)
5. The Crystal Turkey (Bil Lepp)

CD - Egg Babies

Egg Babies



Egg Babies is Bil’s twelfth audio collection and perhaps his best yet. Recorded live at the International Storytelling Center, the three stories on this CD are full of Bil’s trademark humor and wit.

The Egg Babies story is a tale about teenagers assigned to carry around eggs in order to teach them “What a pain in the …What a huge responsibility it is to be a parent.” Everybody in the class gets an egg, except Bil, who has to carry around a five pound bag of flour instead. Bil quickly learns that one should not use one’s baby as a human shield. I Love My Dentist is a story about a trip to the … wait for it … dentist during which Bil is left in the chair too long and decides to start pressing various buttons. “Most tall tales go down hill and catch on fire,” Bil explains. “This one never leaves the chair.” Corn Maze puts a bunch of Cub Scouts, a hippo, and a flare gun in a corn maze, then lets them loose.

“This CD is great fun for the whole family!” –Quote made up by Bil Lepp

“If laughter is the best medicine than this CD could cure psoriasis and possibly even ringworm!” –Another quote made up by Bil Lepp

It’s With Me All the Time


The story on this CD is Claude Dolin’s. It is Bil Lepp speaking, but it is Claude words. In the late 1990s, award winning storyteller Bil Lepp set out to interview West Virginia veterans of WWII in the hopes of publishing a book. No publisher was interested in the stories Bil had collected, so they sat silently on his shelf for years. Known for his hilarious, award winning tall-tales, Lepp felt it was time to breath life into these more serious stories. The result is It’s With Me All the Time.

Diablo or How I Met My Wife, by Bil LeppDIABLO or How I Met My Wife



Two stories to lighten your day and make you giggle. The title story is about how Bil met his wife, Paula. This is one of the truest stories Bil tells, though admittedly that ain’t sayin much. The first thing Paula did when she met was Bil was try to maim him by putting him on the back of a horse named Diablo. To be fair, a lot of people consider maiming Bil when they first meet him. Bil, seldom referred to as an expert equestrian, does his best to stay on the back of Diablo in order to impress the lovely Paula.

Tiki-Torches is the not quite true story of how the Tiki-torch was invented by the haphazard explorer Gerhard der Graf von Vanderberg-Tiki. It is also a story about how Bil almost blew up a Mercedes-Benz at festival fund raiser with a tiki-torch, oh, and about the Anarchist Anti-Fondue Movement.

Vampire SantaVampire Santa


This CD has nineteen tracks, but is essentially one very long story about strike anywhere matches, stretching cinder blocks, Jell-O balloons, Vampire Santa, subversive reasons to read books, and killing inflatable Easter bunnies. It’s fun entertainment for the whole family. As my buddy Eric says, “You can share it with everyone, from your parole officer to your pastor.” Recorded live at Timpanogos Storytelling Festival in Orem, UT, and at The Ark in Ann Arbor, MI. This is not a Christmas album … but it would make a great Christmas present. Stories: Welcome • Introducing Uncle Deebo • Strike Anywhere Matches • Anything Can Stretch • Jell-O Balloons I • Reading Cooper • Scouts in Action • There Are Things in Books • Burning Haywood • Easter Bunnies Begin • Vampire Santa • I am Not a Physicist • Don’t Get Attached to Balloons • Easter Bunnies Must Die • Jell-O Balloons II • A Quick Word From Bil • Scouts in Action Again • More on Floating Eggs • Fump. Tink. Whizzz.

Buck Meets the Monster Stick by Bil LeppBuck Meets the Monster Stick


Recorded and Released in 1999 Stories: There Stands a Bridge • The Seventh Second • Johan-The Real Story • Buck Ain’t No Ordinary Dog • The Monster Stick’s Last Ride


The Divine Bovine, by Bil LeppThe Divine Bovine


Recorded and Released in 2005 Stories: The Ojai Mountain Lion • Deer Hunting, Detroit Style • Soul in Hawk (Cuss Runner) • Thinking Behind • The Armadillo Recon Unit • Montina the Divine Bovine


Fire! Fire! Pants on Liar, by Bil LeppFire! Fire! Pants on Liar


This cd is geared more toward teens & adults. Fire! Fire! is not the story about the burning bicycle.Recorded live mostly at St. Albans Library, released in 2008 Stories: A Plea for Plungers • Fire! Fire! Pants on Liar • The Inflatable Easter Bunnies of Halfdollar Must Die • Yard of the Week • Church Rodeo • Flyin’ High (My brother Paul’s story about catching an airplane with a fishing pole.)

The Great Rope Swing Misadventure, by Bil LeppThe Great Rope Swing Misadventure


Recorded partly in Pigeon Forge, released in 2006 Stories: Lessons Learned in East Berlin • Unsimple Gifts • The Great Rope Swing Misadventure


Mayhem Dressed as an Eight Point Buck, by Bil LeppMayhem Dressed Like an Eight Point Buck



This CD is suitable for all ages.
Recorded live at Tamarack, released in 2003 Winner: 2008 NAPPA Honors Award Stories: Mr. Lepp, I Gotta Go • Woodpeckers Just Don’t Make the Best Pets • Stereotypical Clergy • Something in the Water • Mayhem in three Parts: Making it Mine • Jimmy Carter • Mayhem Dressed as an Eight Point Buck

The Teacher in the Patriotic Bathing Suit, by Bil LeppThe Teacher in the Patriotic Bathing Suit


This CD is good for the whole family.
Recorded live and released in 2005 2006 Parents’ Choice Approved Award & 2008 Storytelling World Award Honors Stories: The Teacher in the Patriotic Bathing Suit • Das Buck • Stop Sign Man • When Pigs Fly



Muddling Through: Perspectives on Parenting

Purchase eBook at Barnes and Noble or Amazon

Softcover $10

“Muddling Through: Perspectives on Parenting, #2 on Amazon’s Kindle Parenting list, is a somewhat skewed, but often insightful and hilarious take on parenting. Though written from a dad’s point of view, this book will be useful to anyone engaging in the parenting arts. Dealing with everything from conversations to faith to fishing to making yellow snowman cookies (yes, you read that right) this book will help you get through the day. Unlike most parenting books, Muddling Through also offers advice for your kids on how to deal with parents. Your whole family can read and enjoy this book together (there’s even a chapter on reading together!). Endorsed by Absolutely Mindy of Kid’s Place Live, Muddling Through is the book for you and your family.”

Story Collections

The Monster Stick, Bil Lepp

The Monster Stick
and Other Appalachian
Tall Tales


Armadilo Recon Unit, Bil Lepp

Aramadillo Recon Unit and Other Tall Tales


Inept: Impaired: Overwhelmed, Bil Lepp

Inept: Impaired: Overwhelmed
Tall Tales from West Virginia and Beyond



Halfdollar, Bil LeppHalfdollar


Nationally acclaimed storyteller and five-time champion of the West Virginia Liars’ Contest, Bil Lepp, a resident of South Charleston, WV, has published his first novel. Halfdollar is a fictional account following the lives of several young people as they grow up in the small West Virginia town of Halfdollar.

Employing the humor and keen insight that have made him a sought after speaker and storyteller, Lepp takes his readers on a thirteen year trek following the lives of Skeeter, Edison, and a girl named Charolais as they grow up in a small, Appalachian town named for a gambling mishap.

“It is everything you need in a story,” says Lepp. “I think the story really encapsulates life in Appalachia. And I haven’t swept much under the rug. There’s plenty of good times, high-jinks and humor in the book, but there’s also poverty, racism, and abuse. I’ve tried hard to accurately depict the lives of people in small town Appalachia. I learned a lot in the several small towns I lived in. It wasn’t all stuff I wanted to know, but it all influenced the stories I create. I think I’ve been fair in my depiction, but I’m still not telling you the names of the towns I based the story on. It will be clear enough to the folks in those towns. With any luck, somebody will recognize their town and then try to ban the book. If that happens, sales will go through the roof.”

Those readers and listeners familiar with Lepp’s other books, audio recordings, and stories will recognize many of the characters in the novel. Follow the intrepid prankster Skeeter, the good-natured country sheriff Hasbro, and a character called Edison who is loosely based on the author. Even the famous Buck-dog makes a brief appearance.

After years of developing these characters in a series of tall-tales, Lepp has finally completed Halfdollar. This novel length story offers a backdrop and background of the stories and characters. “I just felt like it was time for the world to see where all these characters came from,” explains Lepp. “I wanted the rest of the world to know what I know about these characters and this town I’ve created.”

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